Good Cop, Bad Cop
by Mako Headrush
Summary: Cloud gets caught speeding on Fenrir...again.  And a certain redheaded police officer who keeps pulling him over, decides to teach the leadfoot a lesson.  RenoxCloud, AU, one-shot, yaoi, LEMON!  And hints of voyeurism.


**Fun one shot, PWP, completely and totally inspired by listening to "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.**

**CloudxReno, AU, hints at voyeurism, yaoi lemon…these are a few of my favorite things. If they are not your favorite things, please...read no further. :)**

* * *

It had been a busy delivery day for Cloud, and he was riding Fenrir on the outskirts of Midgar, on his way to make last scheduled package pickup. The day had been absolutely perfect, weather-wise; the crisp tang of fall was in the air, and it made Cloud feel energetic and alive. He smiled a bit, feeling the warm sun beating down on his back, and the cool breeze through his hair, as he raced his bike through the deserted roads just outside of Midgar. Cloud decided to put Fenrir through its paces a bit, and released the throttle a bit further, pushing the speedometer to heretofore unseen limits.

Cloud became distracted enough, just enjoying riding his bike, that for a few seconds he did not notice the flashing blue and red lights displayed in his side mirror. _Oh gods_, he thought. _Not again. I really do not need to get a speeding ticket…._

He thought for a moment, briefly, about trying to outrun the cop, but then thought better of it. Fenrir was his pride and joy, as well as the means to his livelihood, so the possibility of wrecking his bike seemed ill-advised. Sighing, he dutifully pulled his motorcycle over to the dusty, ill-defined shoulder of the dirt road he was on. _Great_, Cloud thought, annoyed with himself for getting caught speeding yet again. _I was nearly done for the day, and now this._

Cloud cut the engine on Fenrir, and obediently stood in front of the motorcycle, waiting as the lanky police officer exited the cruiser, and made his way over to where Cloud was standing. Cloud noticed a flash of red hair underneath the policeman's black hat, and a long ponytail snaking over his right shoulder. _Oh shit,_ Cloud thought. _It's Officer Reno again. Doesn't that guy have anything better to do than to harass me? _

"So," Officer Reno began, approaching Cloud, with a bit of a swagger. "License and registration, please," he demanded. Cloud reached into his back pocket for his wallet, took his license out, and handed it over. He then quickly hunted through the bag attached to the front of his bike to fish out the motorcycle registration, and promptly produced that, handing it over to the office as well.

"What seems to be your hurry today, sir?" Officer Reno continued. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"Sorry, officer," Cloud said, attempting to sound meek, but coming off as sounding more irritated than anything else. "It was just a nice day, and I suppose I got distracted. It won't happen again."

"Funny," drawled Officer Reno, "I seem to recall you saying that last time I pulled you over, Mr. Strife. And if I recall correctly, didn't I let you off last time with a warning, if you promised not to do it again?"

"Yes, you did, sir," Cloud admitted. "Like I said, I'm sorry—"

"Sorry's not going to cut it if you cause an accident due to your recklessness, now is it?" the officer snapped. "I don't like your attitude, Strife. I'm bringing you in, maybe a few hours in lockup will cure your 'need for speed,'" he continued, as he handed the license and registration back to Cloud.

"What?" Cloud protested. "I said I was sorry-"

"You know, I _really_ don't like your attitude," the policeman interrupted. "Hands against the hood of the car, and spread 'em."

"I don't believe this," muttered Cloud.

"What was that!" snapped the redheaded policeman. He circled Cloud, who was bent over, and eyeballed the blonde's nice, tight ass. Officer Reno sucked in his breath. He decided to teach this speed demon a lesson, and perhaps enjoy himself while he was at it.

Withdrawing his nightstick from its holster, he slowly ran it up Cloud's inner thigh, making Cloud twitch and gasp. Grinning at eliciting this reaction, Officer Reno then stuck the nightstick in between Cloud's cheeks, moving it up and down in a torturous fashion. "Unnnh," Cloud grunted.

"Oh, you like that, huh?" said Officer Reno, raising an eyebrow. "I think I need to teach you a lesson, Mr. Strife," he whispered, moving in ever closer.

Cloud heard a clicking sound, then felt his arms being forced behind his back. _Oh shit_, he groaned. _Handcuffs! _Officer Reno wrenched Cloud's arms behind his back, and slapped the cuffs around his wrists. "Come on, officer," Cloud whined. "I said I was sorry...please, just let me pay the fine..."

"Can't let you do that now, can I?" breathed Officer Reno, grinning wickedly. He had the blond just where he wanted him, and he was going to have some fun with him while he could. He holstered his nightstick again, and straightened his posture. "Right," he continued. "For all I know, you could be packing a weapon, so I'm going to have to do a pat down." As he saw Cloud shift his weight from one foot to another, Officer Reno glared. "I said SPREAD 'EM!" he snapped, kicking against Cloud's ankles, widening his stance.

"Officer," Cloud begged as he was being patted down, "please. I don't have any weapons on my person, can't we just settle this?"

"Settle this? Settle this, he says…hmm," said Officer Reno, running his hands up and down Cloud's legs, then up and down the sides of his torso, checking for weapons. Reaching around the waist, he grabbed Cloud's crotch, noting that the blond was sporting a sizeable erection by this point. _Ha, just as I thought,_ mused the policeman. _He's hard as a fucking rock!_

"Yes, Mr. Strife," said Officer Reno, clearing his throat, "I believe we can come to an…understanding." He deftly unbuckled Cloud's pants, which brought some protest. "What kind of a cop are you!" exclaimed Cloud.

"A very dedicated one," murmured Officer Reno. "Come on, you know you want this," he taunted.

"Um…well….maybe," Cloud admitted, blushing. "I've gotta admit, I thought you were kind of cute, the first time you pulled me over for speeding," he said flirtatiously.

"Don't patronize me," the policeman retorted, yanking Cloud's pants down, and running his hands all over his ass, cupping his balls.

_Oh Gaia_, thought Cloud. "Um…ah….does this mean you're not writing me a ticket?" Cloud inquired innocently.

"I'm still considering it," Officer Reno said quietly, while unbuckling his belt and pulling down his own pants. Spitting in his hand, he slicked the head of his cock with it, moaning softly as he did so. He teased it in between Cloud's rock-hard buttocks, finally locating the tight hole, and smiled when he heard Cloud moan in response. "Oh Gaia," Cloud groaned. "Officer, please…" he begged.

The redheaded cop began thrusting, filling Cloud to the hilt with his length. "Ung," he grunted, quickening his thrusts. "Please what, you leadfoot?"

"Please…," Cloud gasped, "oh gods, I'm gonna come…"

"All over the hood of this car, you're gonna come? Real nice, Strife. That'll earn you a ticket for sure," Officer Reno warned. He tensed suddenly, and grasping Cloud by the hips even harder, he gave one final thrust, and emptied his load into the blond. Cloud's movements were limited by the handcuffs, which were still securely fastened to his wrists. "Please, officer," Cloud begged, "let me touch you."

Reaching into his pocket, the policeman located a key ring, and quickly unlocked the handcuffs, releasing Cloud. Turning Cloud around to face him, Reno cupped the back of his head, drawing him in for a kiss. "That was fucking hot, yo," Reno moaned. He kissed Cloud again, then drew back, pausing to pull up his pants again, and buckle his belt. Cloud gave Reno a sideways grin, then reached down to pull up his own pants.

"Yeah," Cloud said, smiling, "that was definitely hot. Still," he continued, facing Reno, "you are really abusing the badge there, Reno. You can't keep pulling me over any time you get horny – what would Chief Sephiroth say, if he knew?"

Reno remained silent for a moment, observing a small red light out of the corner of his eye. The small red light was on the dashboard of the police car, indicating that the dashboard camera had filmed their entire encounter.

No, Reno would not be telling Cloud anytime soon, that the chief of police knew damned well what Reno was up to, while patrolling. Nor would he tell him that Sephiroth had specifically ordered him to leave the dashboard camera running, during Reno's encounters with his lover, and would be demanding any footage after the completion of Reno's shift. _Whatevs_, Reno had reasoned, _if he gets his rocks off by watching us fuck on the hood of a car, it doesn't bother me._

"See you later at home, babe," Reno called to Cloud, blowing him a kiss as he walked back to his cruiser. "Love you."

"Love you too," replied Cloud, smiling as he got back on Fenrir. Life with Reno was certainly unpredictable at times, but Cloud didn't mind a surprise like that every now and then. He started up his motorcycle, and with a final wave to Reno, took off quickly, rushing to finish his last job of the day.

_Nope_, thought Reno, grinning wickedly as he saw Cloud's motorcycle disappear into the horizon_. I ain't about to tell Cloud that his ass was on candid camera. _

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**Okay, that was totally corny, and may actually mirror a porno (or several) that I've seen - but not bad for a quickie, I figure. And the idea of Reno as a cop is just...damned hot, I think. :)**


End file.
